Ayda

2011-02-10T13:39:00.001-08:00

Like me!

2011-01-14T17:41:00.000-08:00

2011-01-12T06:58:00.001-08:00

I want to write something to help me stop thinking so much but I don't want to sound geeky.

I'm listening to classical music whilst studying. It helps me concentrate.

I have real issues focusing.

BORED IN MY ROOM

2011-01-11T13:11:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting in my room trying to study but its not going that well. I havent been able to study at all today. Starting to feel stressed about my exams. Its not even that hard really, why am I making such a big deal out of this?

Because I was so eagerly trying to do anything else but reading through my books, I had a look through my old pictures from last year. You can really see the difference in my face. I've grown a tummy as well. I've never had problems with my weight ever. And I eat... A LOT!

Well something needs to be done. I need to start eating less and exercise more. My skin looks pale and unhealthy as well.

Ok, I gotta start making something happen, I've been on the same page for hours now!!!

Peace

DO I LOOK AS DIRTY AS I LOOK?

2011-01-06T16:20:00.000-08:00

I've started to listen more to heavy metal now. Well, I don't know if its heavy metal really, but its definitely hard rock. I really love how ... hard and aggressive it sounds.

I watched a boxing film just now - Girlfight with michelle rodriguez.

Damn I love the looks of that woman.

Shes just too hot!

Watching them train really made me miss the time I was training boxing. It really is the best thing ever feeling fit, and I loved how the coach was so strict. I'm thinking about going for a jog maybe once or twice a week just to see how that would f

eel. I mean I haven't trained boxing since I was 17, but I haven't trained well in over a year now, its starting to make me feel uncomfortable to be honest. I'm not overly obsessed with my weight but I am keen on keeping myself in shape at least. Its just that I HATE running, and that without a partner. Going to the gym is

too costy + is far and the same goes with martial arts. Now thats nothing to even consider because its triple the pay!!! So I guess I'll just have to bite on the sour apple.

My birthdays tomorrow.

I just want my money put in that savings account I opened yesterday.

I've been searching for jobs to make that happen this week. I was actually hoping I'd continue with my dental nursing course, so we'l

l see if I get that kind of chance by a dental practice (I've already applied for a few).

Heres some pic you might enjoy laughing at...

Guess I wanted to illustrate how to brush your teeth and to not look good doing it...

Image two is taken from when I was recording my lastest upload on youtube. Can be tiring having to re-take your vids because you're not happy with one small fake sounding tone or some facial expression I made that made me look weird.

OBSERVE: My mouth was totally open, naturally to make me look more sexy ofcourse.

Ok, tired.

Gonna study and then sleep.

Goodnight, God speed.

ON YOUR KNEES

2010-12-29T03:55:00.000-08:00

If you look like this ----->

You know where to find me! ;)

NEW PICS!

2010-12-22T13:02:00.001-08:00

I had some new pictures taken.

I needed to do that, its been too long since I had new ones up on the website.

What do you think? :)

MY DOGS + SIS

2010-12-20T15:23:00.000-08:00

2010-12-10T14:32:00.000-08:00

i wanna runaway

NT NT NT

2010-12-09T14:01:00.000-08:00

2 hand-ins left and then I'm for for Christmas break! I can't believe its already half-term now, I'll be turning 21 in less than a month!

I need to find myself a job now so I can start saving some money.

I want to start some kind of business but I haven't really figured out what exactly I want to do. I want to work abroad this summer, maybe I'll go to Sweden, I've been thinking about that for a while now.

There has been a lot of fuss about the new government wanting to form a new legislation for tuition fees if you haven't already heard about it on the news. University sntudents have been protesting for weeks now. Today the decision has been made and I'm in chock.

They actually are going through with it! With 21 votes more on their side!!! Stupid liberal-democrats. THEY ARE GOING TO RAISE TUITION FEES UP TO 12,000 POUNDS BY 2012!!!

If thats the case then I'm out of here.

BBC LIVE

And then there was rain...

2010-12-03T18:10:00.000-08:00

Even though you are miles away

from the centre of guilt

I am still here

Because of you

The way the sun lights your world, bright with its might

The same way it shall also set into dark, as you have set mine.

The forgotten one*

LET IT SNOW NOT

2010-12-01T04:05:00.000-08:00

OMG its snowing in UK now and everything has been shut off. Took me 4 hours to get home from a usually 50 minute route from London Bridge to Orpington. I was sooo tired, the pic if from when I finally got off from the train and had to walk all the 25 minutes home because my mom couldn't drive in the snow. It was impossible!
Snow is not that bad though, it has it pros. Look at my dawg hahaha, he gets that snow stuck on him which he love to eat it!!! He's the cutest :)

Off to write a lab report which is due TOMORROW (!)

God have mercy, pray for me!

ANNOUNCEMENT

2010-11-23T14:35:00.000-08:00

Fishplate - made by my sister.

Uni went well, and tomorrow my parents are coming back from Sweden, so I gotta clean the whole house and find time to make some calls as well.

Apparently my blog is getting boring and dramatic.

Just thought I'd lay it up for you readers, this blog is about my life.

I write what I feel like writing, and its all real.

So I'm sorry if I've "disappointed" some of you, I honestly don't know what you expected. My aim was to involve people in my personal life, but if I'm boring you out I'm sorry to hear. You dont have to read!

With that said I'm off to bed

Wishing all my dear readers a goodnight and...

Dont forget

Music is life

Peace

2010-11-21T07:53:00.000-08:00

Why are you doing this?

SUMMARIZED BIOGRAPHY

2010-11-20T13:18:00.000-08:00

Ayda is a talented young woman who has been burning for music since childhood.

Her parents began to notice her talent when she was at around eight years of age.

It wasn't until at sixteen when she took the music to a new level, and this thanks to her father.

Aydas father who was a great role model for her during her early teenage years said that a real artist writes their own songs, are original and play an instrument. This was when Ayda started learning the guitar.

As an imitation of the guitar playing, she also then start to write songs, and wrote her first song when she was only sixteen.

"Many people can sing, even better than I, but being an artist is so much more than that." said Ayda.

Aydas texts is very much about love in different forms, feelings of betrayal, hatred and relationships, but there are also social issues that she takes up in some songs.

"It's all about conveying a feeling to the listener, I want songs to sound magical."

During her early writing years, Ayda found a lot of her inspiration from Lauryn Hill, which has contributed not only to one of Aydas most heavy tracks from but has also influenced her style today.

Ayda- who turns 21 January the 8th 2011 - graduated in 2008 from an international high school in Gothenburg, Sweden with more than mediocre grades. She moved that same summer to England to study and has now been living there for more than two years.

She is currently studying the Psychology degree.

Ayda can not see a future without music, and she can't live without it.

"i just want my music to be heard. I don't really care about the rest".

AM I LYING TO MYSELF?

2010-11-19T16:53:00.001-08:00

or am I just egocentric?

you said you needed time,

i get that.

but it aint fair either, not like this.

i just dont understand, i can't make sense to any of it

and even though i try to avoid thinking of it, i can't stop but thinking

if you're trying to tell me something else

unexpectable

but on second thought maybe it isn't that unexpected

either way, i hate being in the middle lane

the situations just getting more stressful.

by the day

Robyn 'Indestructible' (Official Video)

2010-11-19T04:16:00.000-08:00

2010-11-16T05:28:00.001-08:00

I'm a long way from home...

MY LIFE

2010-11-07T12:20:00.000-08:00

I really need to do this....

Make it right and make it work

I just wish I'd be better prepared for life

I mean I don't even know how to pay a damn bill.

Talk about being independent.

I have no hope for tomorrow

Most of the times

The present is only there for you to get passed it.

And I just wanna shut the hell up till we reach newyear. So I can finally reach to you.

For a minute or two at least.

Goodnight

DONT FORGET ABOUT YOUR HEART

2010-11-06T16:50:00.000-07:00

You know how people always tell you not to think with your heart but your mind?

When I was really lost, I went really low for a while and took advice from the wrong people.

But I did take a good piece of advice which has really helped me a lot whenever I feel the same confusion;

What do you feel, in your heart, that is best for YOU?

I realized I'd been rabbling about all sorts of things that were either good or bad, but never thought of what I thought was the best for me.

Think about that, and keep that in mind when you really are clueless as to what to do.

I'll never stop listening to my heart.

Ayda - Rendered for Your Love (ORIGINAL)

2010-11-01T14:35:00.000-07:00

BEFORE AND AFTER

2010-10-30T16:12:00.000-07:00

NEW HAIR COLOR!

2010-10-29T14:43:00.001-07:00

I need to take new pictures of myself.

But I thought I'd color my hair first, to kinda get into winter mood.

I've been wanting to do something with my hair for some time.

I'm getting a black color again. Yeah I know what you think, "uh, dont you already have black hair?"

Yeah well, no. I have dark brown. You can actuall

y see a difference, believe it or not.

I'll give you after-pics as soon as I've taken decent pics of myself, that is, NOT in my bedroom with my pj's on!

Have a good night my loved ones

THANK YOU!

2010-10-27T05:04:00.001-07:00

I just read a message I got from one of my youtube followers from the US.

Reading that message really did make me feel better. If I didn't have that, I dont know what I would do...

Thank you Kevin for enlightening my day!

Ayda - Everybody Here (Jeff Buckley Cover)

2010-10-24T19:25:00.000-07:00

Miguel Feat. J. Cole - All I Want Is You (OFFICIAL VIDEO) HD

2010-10-24T12:33:00.000-07:00

NEW COVER

2010-10-20T15:01:00.000-07:00

I've been asking for requests in the discussion board on my Facebook Page and have now uploaded a cover.

Its the only song by Jeff Buckley that I love - EVERYBODY HERE WANTS YOU

You can DL it here; http://www.megaupload.com/?d=0G72XJJJ

Do you like it?

Here is his video

SONG OF THE DAY

2010-10-18T08:53:00.000-07:00

What ever happened to them? I still love this beautiful song. Its magnificent.

HARDSHIP

2010-10-17T12:56:00.000-07:00

Hard times are on their way... Bring it on bitch, BOOOM!

Kill me.

2010-10-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

no words

i dont even feel like writing or even moving my fingers for that matter so ill just leave the rest blank

2010-10-12T05:24:00.000-07:00

Why do I feel like everybody are staring at me?

SONG OF THE DAY

2010-10-11T14:37:00.000-07:00

JESSIE J 'NOBODYS PERFECT' ACOUSTIC (BEN MARTINEZ ON GUITAR)

2010-10-02T05:49:00.000-07:00

2010-09-29T09:21:00.000-07:00

Gloomy day today.

Autumn is here, its in the air. Preparing for wintertime.

I miss the Swedish winter, cold, snowy, gingerbread, glögg, christmas drinks.

I can sense the smell of it. I miss walking the streets in Gothenburg, when day would turn dark at around four in the afternoon. Nostalgia.

I love this cover of Michael Jackson - Baby be min.

Put my music on hold and take a listen to this.

Hope you all are happy

Keep loving each other

Love

Ayda

VIDEOBLOG 4 + HIT THE ROAD JACK COVER

2010-09-26T16:30:00.000-07:00

2010-09-12T14:56:00.001-07:00

Click here to watch a video of me singing a song I wrote last summer

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?

2010-09-05T12:36:00.001-07:00

Fact: People want to be known for different things.

Achilles was known as a great warrior

Robert De Niro is known as a great actor

And me?

What have people always known me for?

The singer

Everyone belongs somewhere, a spot you feel like you can be free to express and find others who are likewise in their way of life and style. A place you can feel admired and appreciated.

I miss stockholm. Alot.

STUDIO SESSION

2010-08-23T07:05:00.000-07:00

I've been hanging out in the studio with an amazing man Ivan who is my sound technician and is helping me throughout the recording.

Its only been second time over there and we have already completed 3 songs!
I cant wait to go there again and record on some more
(ROUND THREE TONIGHT!!!!)

I just feel so happy at the moment, thinking of going there again soon - it just feels all bubbly inside

OLA LA LA
ITS THE WAY THAT I ROCK WHEN IM DOING MY THANG !
Pics will be posted soon
STAY TUNED!
Love
Ayda

THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!

2010-08-19T02:45:00.000-07:00

Ok, so heres a quick update;

Quit my job as a dental nurse trainee
Trip to Stockholm until August 29
Travel back to Gothenburg and meet my big sis'
GREECE
Back to UK before September 20th to study PSYCHOLOGY!

Im going to Stockholm to be recording on some demos of my songs so hopefully I will get to have something recorded with good quality.
I will write again soon

In the meantime you can send out my facebook page to your friends so we get more people on there! Facebook page is Ayda

Love
Ayda

2010-07-31T15:05:00.001-07:00

http://www.iranian.com/main/video/2010/jul/someday

2010-07-31T14:27:00.000-07:00

My attempt of cooking soup.

Made a nice sallad to give with it as well

What'ya think?

Imissmymom

She makes the best food ever!

SECOND SONG OF THE DAY

2010-07-25T11:04:00.001-07:00

SONG OF THE DAY

2010-07-25T10:59:00.000-07:00

2010-07-25T07:06:00.000-07:00

This is funny.

2010-07-25T05:39:00.000-07:00

silence is so powerful

yet i keep screaming

Mishal Moore

www.youtube.com/mishalmooremusic

2010-07-24T10:14:00.000-07:00

Wings wouldn't help you

Wings wouldn't help you...down

Down fills the ground, gravity's proud

You barely are blinking

Wagging your face around

When'd this just become a mortal home?

Won't, won't, won't, won't

Won't let you talk me

Won't let you talk me…down

Will pull it taut, nothing let out

I will let nothing out.

2010-07-22T10:20:00.000-07:00

I try hard to understand the words.....

2010-07-21T13:55:00.000-07:00

What is the price to pay?

I cant endure this injustice I go through each day

Humanity just seems so lost

The vanity of justice tell me

What will this cost?

As discrimination proceeds to the fullest

Now which one of us ya'll will stay the truest

Now I'm not saying I need you to sympathize

Just want you to look beyond the box and realize

So next time I testify

Will anyone justify?

Will we hold up the flame or let it die?

Will we keep on disregarding and live a lie?

Have you ever thought of maybe giving yourself permission to step up and try, step up and try?

Its the price of a prejudice

How much more will continue of this?

Instead of improvement we just get dismissed

Its the price of a prejudice

How much more will continue of this?

We seek for integrity

Still we get no equality

I'm holden down by chains til theres nothing more left of me

Left of me....

AND YOU CALL YOURSELF AN ARTIST WHY..?

2010-07-21T11:41:00.000-07:00

I dont get it with people.

Whats up with all this famous-horniness?

And the wanna-be artists...

I hear the latest hits on the radio and I just feel the urge to save the music.

My sister is 15 years old and she was saying something so truthful at the dinner table today - music when we were younger were so much more soulful. Musicians used to be passionate about what they do. Nowadays its all about the money...

And what about originality? Seems like everybody are just being copy-cats these days wanting to create the same sound as others.

And then we call them artists?

SCREW YOU AND YOUR ORIGINALITY, YOU'RE NOT EVEN REAL

YOU JUST LIKE TO CALL YOURSELF 1 SO YOU CAN FEEL YOURE SOMEONE IMPORTANT

I COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT THE "COOL" PEOPLE

ALWAYS UP PEOPLES ASSES ABOUT THEIR LATEST TRACKS

NO I DONT KNOW YOU AND NO I DONT WANNA HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY

WHAT I DO IS FOR PEOPLE WHO APPRECIATE THE QUALITY OF GOOD MUSIC

THE REST CAN GO THROW THEMSELVES IN THE RIVER...

MY INSPIRATION

2010-07-19T10:37:00.000-07:00

Many ask me in interviews and such what inspires me in my writing and my ongoing reply would always be that everything is an inspiration to me.

I get inspired by most things.

When I do songwriting I don't simply decide to write a song, I always get hit by a feeling that triggers me to write something.

And these would usually be by someone in my life, weather its been a great impact or a small one - Love, hatred, deceit, something I saw on TV that made me upset, an event, any universal matter that has affected a large amount of people and the list goes on...

I can also use a feeling or thought and put in into other contexts (not too far from the original subject ofcourse).

There are many things that can be counted as a factor for inspiration, ask any artist and they will reply the same.

Then there are certain things that trigger ones creativity more.

To me it's very important not only to write meaningful songs, but also to deliver them in a good way. I believe a song needs to go hand in hand with visual stimulation in order to get the best experience from it.

And that my dear friends, is what inspires me when I write!

I just try to visualize how the music video for the song would be like, and my writing flows - for the most part at least :)

This was a pretty long post but I also just wanted to tell you how the writing is going at the moment. I'm really focused on just writing new songs, and its crazy how much I've progressed! I get new ideas everytime I sit and record.

I should post something up soon, I promise to within the next few weeks!

Please share your thoughts with me, I really love to get feedback from you who read this.

Love

Ayda

SONG OF THE DAY

2010-07-18T08:11:00.000-07:00

You just gotta love BEP. Taboo is Filipino? Didn't know that.

Take a listen

FINALLY

2010-07-17T05:32:00.000-07:00

I FOUND THE SHO I HAVE DREAMED OF FINDING AGAIN!!!

I was in Sweden in March and me and my mo

m were in town in a sho shop when I fell in love

with this sho!!!!

Its the one to the left! The right sho doesn't look bad either though haha =)

Here are some other collections I love

http://www.yokoyap.se/

I'VE MOVED ON NOW

2010-07-16T16:45:00.000-07:00

I only write this so you can read

I only write so you can know i still bleed

cuz when i see your face

i see the remained space

left and it had overcome

the most things we left undone

love i gave you trust but love brought along the fuss

you were more than sex you were more than just

lust

half-done sentences remained

sober is fine but when im drunk i get insane

2010-07-13T15:10:00.001-07:00

heres her website clic here (i blame coco)

2010-07-13T13:30:00.001-07:00

it sounds off when you first listen to it, she has a really dark voice.

but i blame coco is worth listening to, she is sting's the musicians daughter

enjoy!

GOTHENBURG CITY BABY

2010-06-27T12:30:00.000-07:00

I'M DOING MY OWN THANG

AND IF YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH DAT

THEN IT NEED TO GO

BANG

BANG

AND I'LL BE EVERYWHERE ON THE MAP

BUT I REP THAT WEST

I REP THAT WEST

I REP THAT WEST

I REP THAT WEST

I REP THAT WEST

BOOM BITCHEZ!

I STILL REMEMBER

2010-06-17T16:15:00.000-07:00

ive known you since my teenage years

you were the only one i knew yet the only one i feared

love was set up to be the ultimate mind fuck

because when cupid decided to score i should've ducked

they say im taking it too far but ive been taking it too far for the last three years of my life

and im still hanging high because of it

i still remember your scent sometimes

with another breath it fills my mind

and even if im sorted on the other side all I seem to wonder is why

i still have no joy

where did it all go, where did my love go?

wasted on the walls...

of this mind...

of mine

MY LOVE IS UNCALLED FOR

2010-06-13T17:21:00.000-07:00

Why i felt low the other day was because I'm missing out on so many things I thought I'd be a part of later in my life. Its almost two years ago since I did and look where we are now.

Many think I'm crazy for my wasted love but i just call it a dead end.

This song is so beautiful, if you listen to the lyrics.

2010-06-09T10:34:00.000-07:00

i feel so low right now not even this video makes me wanna smile, i feel so weak ´

NEWROOM

2010-06-07T05:57:00.000-07:00

I NEED TO SHOW YOU GUYS THE RADICAL CHANGE IN MY ROOM!
I've been wanting to change the color of my walls ever since we moved now and finally its been done.

I'm at work right now so I will post a picture up as soon as I get home!

Love

FIRST TIME IN A LONG TIME

2010-06-02T14:28:00.001-07:00

i got a response from people on my last blog entry,

there actually is life out there somewhere.

i feel like im in space when i write over here

im a spaceman - i am lost in outer space, man!

danish band, its a must listen to!

im in space and im floating baby

but are we even alive now?

ANOTHER ONE!

2010-06-02T14:19:00.000-07:00

My video is up on voicecouncil.com!

Just to let you guys

know that - would love it if you would

drop a comment or share the video :)

Click here to get to the video

We look forward to seeing your comments :)

SO YOU THINK IM FUNNY NOW?

2010-05-30T15:01:00.000-07:00

I just read a blog entry from an artist in America (click here to check it),

and he wrote that he thinks im - funny..?

So do people even read my blog? I mean, it says I currently have 15 followers but maybe they just clicked on the follow button cause they dont want me to feel bad about myself or something.

Today I started on this new diet, so we shall see what the improvements are.

I'm going to take a picture of myself first thing tomorrow and then another within a few weeks to see if there has been any difference.

I already felt bad for eaten a stew without any rice...

I had the coke tho, and I have been eating apples. Lets see how this shall end. It really is a struggle i shall tell you because I have this special relationship to food like no other...

Anyway,

I saw KICK ASS earlier today,

REDONE produced the song thats in the soundtrack with Mika.

I really dig it, if you listen to his voice you can even hear how similar it is to freddy mercury.

OF YOU

2010-05-29T04:05:00.000-07:00

why do i dream?

SONG OF THE NIGHT

2010-05-26T15:04:00.000-07:00

i used to listen to ice cube a lot when i was 13,

and i have always seen him as a rapper with an oldschool swag.

listening to his latest track (dope) i hear still the oldschool vibs from his earlier ones. he still keeps it steady as before, love this one!

what do you think?

wicked shit.

2010-05-25T12:17:00.000-07:00

Ayda Chipmonk likes

Ayda

Create your Like Badge

THE DROP

2010-05-12T12:25:00.001-07:00

my mom just came into the room and told me she made me a sallad

she is the most precious thing in this life

that did it.

i just fell apart

DID I SAY TOO MUCH, DID I SAY ENOUGH?

2010-05-12T12:02:00.001-07:00

i feel so emotional but yet so cold inside. i feel like i wanna cry now but don't have heart enough to let myself crumble.

feel like writing a million songs out of my many ideas.

now should be one of them, and although my brain is working as it is my body is drained in my thoughts that i feel like im dragging myself just to write these lines.

how can someone be ashamed of the person they supposedly love? i don't understand.

i get all the love in the world but not from the one i expect to get it from.

love is all around, but he won't give me his.

seems as though i will never feel the same for someone like this again

i wont let myself get nestled up with love and rejection no more.

but here i am though

again.

2010-05-06T00:13:00.001-07:00

i had a dream you said u wanted to marry me

you had a ring in your hand and you were crying your heart out

but then you took it back

2010-05-04T15:04:00.001-07:00

Damn this woman can move.

Check out her latest vid.

Kudos

YOU KNOW ME

2010-04-29T10:10:00.000-07:00

i see you,

again

so so feeling it

again

you know who i am

you chose me yourself

and now i wanna show you...

what i'm made of

and why i'm the one for you

eyeloveyou

BACK IN THE UK

2010-04-26T16:36:00.000-07:00

back in KENT now

comin fresh out of my bedroom people!

damn it feels good to be home

AINT NO PLACE LIKE HOME!

TOMORROW IS BACK TO BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAA

PEACE AND LOVE

*A*

2010-04-26T08:09:00.000-07:00

the waiting..

always waiting for the kill.

BOOOOOOOOOM

i'm almost dead.

New day, new post.

2010-04-24T02:24:00.000-07:00

I'm in Sweden at the moment, stuck here really.

I was supposed to leave Monday but my flight got canceled because of the vulcano erruption on Iceland. All flight companies were forced to shut down for a week.

So yeah, I'm leaving tonight.

This will be the last time I'm visiting sweden for a long time now.

GREATER THINGS ARE AWAITING

2010-03-29T05:31:00.001-07:00

I'm BACK!
In Sthlm at the moment, heading towards Gothenburg in a few minutes.
This weekend has been a BLAST!

I don't wanna say too much but let me just tell you that
Greater things are finally coming my way, im just here waiting

Aydalicious

2010-03-20T18:14:00.000-07:00

dont...

leave..

IT IS WRITTEN

2010-03-10T14:32:00.000-08:00

Slumdog Millionare

inspired melody Download it HERE

ILL TAKE WHAT I CAN GET

2010-03-09T15:17:00.000-08:00

I had the most horrible nightmare last night, which I hadn't had for so long.

The nightmare lasted the whole night, I've never had anything like it before.

I was waking up several times in the middle of the night, just to fall back into the same dream again. You could guess how bad I felt in the morning..

It was as if my fear had become a reality, and even though I was prepared and waiting to embrace it, when it did happen, I was appalled. Damn that sadness was overwhelming.

Rejection at its worst degree.

I fear letting go, I fear coming close.

Fear of being used, fear of getting hurt again

A nice young man I know put the words in another way I hadn't thought of before.

"Knowing he wants you and at the same time knowing he can't be with you, he also knows he can be with you passionately. Why would he say no? It's not like he only wants you for your body. But he'll take what little he can get".

So the question is, should I say no?

1CLICK2FAME

2010-03-04T15:36:00.000-08:00

Stevie Lang is a wicked vocalist and song coach who I met for the first time competing at the music competition in April last year.
Here is a picture of me and her at her studio in London, where we met again for the recording of one of my songs which will be uploaded on the website sometime this next week.

Loveyou woman!

Thank you for last time

Ayda

KING OF THE GAME

2010-03-04T15:20:00.000-08:00

"People sell their soul just to play a role in the game"

I bet you've heard about that phrase before, or even said it yourself

Cheating on who you are and what you stand for to get your deal.

Thats what people usually think of.

I view it a bit differently tho,

It depends on how you chose to outplay yourself

To play your cards right that, that is.

I don't sell myself,

I don't act like someone else

I just work my around.

Thats a difference.

Sometimes you gotta do what you need to get what you want

Its crazy world, so you go crazy with it

Cause in the end its a game you're playing, but I'm the one setting the rules.

Man this sounded way better in the shower.

If you ask me tomorrow I'd say I don't know what I was talking about

Lol

RAPED VICTIMS TELL THEIR STORY...

2010-02-19T14:23:00.000-08:00

...ONLINE!

I found this girl from sweden, who holds a blog aimed for anonymous victims of rape, child abuse, psychological and physical abuse, molesting and more..

Each tell their story and send it in to be published on the blog.

I want you to take a look at it here at www.detfinnsandra.blogg.se and have a read about each victims story.

its in swedish, so this is for all who can read swedish.

thanks.

ERYKAH BADY LIL WAYNE

2010-02-18T13:45:00.001-08:00

SLICK.

THE REASON

2010-02-16T15:14:00.000-08:00

**He'll never know that he's the reason for this rhyme**

He'll be regretting the love he left

At the times when he needed someone

One day realizing he never knew what he had, but then its already

gone

Hoping to take the chances now before they pass him by again.

The eye

2010-02-15T11:21:00.000-08:00

OUCH

2010-02-15T11:16:00.001-08:00

Hurt my finger yesterday, my lamp smashed against my desk and shattered all over the place, including my pinky finger. haha

Glad its getting stitched back together now though so its cool.

DID I EVER SAY, HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO YOU?

2010-02-15T05:39:00.000-08:00

Guess not.

Its interesting though, that our paths meet on these special moments.

14th.
I think I will keep that date in mind.

I thought I might take some pictures from work and post it up here so you get an idea of how the practice looks like.

I have a gap at the moment so thats why i found some time to write.
This thursday theres an open day at one of the universities that i have applied for, so im going there to get some course information and check out the accomodation.

WOAAAW MAN, THERES SOMETHING GOING DOOOWN
I AINT GONNA GET DOWN BY YOUR BEHAVIOUR
HOW CAN I TRUST SOMEONE WHOS LYING TO ME?
SEE MAMA KNOWS BEST WHEN
TIMES GET HARD
AND PAPA HE ALWAYS GOT A JOKE
TO MAKE ME LAUGH

YOUR HEAD IS WANTED!!!

2010-02-14T08:52:00.001-08:00

i was chosen as a wildcard on 1click2fame.

So i will be entering for competitions again starting march 1st.

I repeat, MARCH 1ST!

For those who want to help, this is the time for it.

Tell your friends about this, and on march 1st you will need to vote for me once a day for one week

R E M E M B E R

If i win, i will win 15,000 pounds aimed as a musical support

which i will need for various things but mainly a setup for my future demo which i then want to be sending out for big music labels out there.

So I need your help on this.

Support me now by spreading the word

Stay tuned

WHATS LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

2010-02-11T14:56:00.000-08:00

My friend has done a blog entry about me on his webpage.

Check out the song that plays if you press on the speaker item placed in the middle of the entry.

CLICK HERE TO BE DIRECTED TO HIS PAGE

Comments are appreciated :)

Love

PROZAC

2010-02-09T15:37:00.001-08:00

i thought i was over it but im here again

the crying is still there, but its not the same

guess its reminding me that im still up hot in the game

somehow,

we are always drawn to the wrong crowd

then every move becomes a faul

ouch

slip-up

i did it again

did it for personal reclaim

so why did it remain..

now all is still the same

if i cant hate the game

ill have myself to blame

2010-02-01T15:16:00.000-08:00

Heres a slick remix you should pay attention to

Jay - Z ft Beyonce Nujabes beat

if i was a dog

2010-01-31T15:35:00.000-08:00

I FEEL SICK TO THE CORE!

i forgot to write my entry last - or okay - i was too lazy.

basically the dream was about me being part of some wolf pack that lived in the snowy mountains and the wolf leader was a friend who was going to give me a baby.

when i got my baby it looked just like me when i was younger and i started crying so hard that when i woke up i has moisture in my eyes hahaha. it was really wierd.

my mom says that it means something good, but i dont know, it hurt a lot in my chest.

i was walking my dog just now which is usually that time for me to think a little. i was watching him sniffing after the foxes we have loose in the area and he had stopped to sniff on a trail before he pisses on it and i was thinking, if i was a dog life would be so much easier.

with that said im going to finish up drinking my usual glass of baileys and make myself ready for bed

Lauryn Hill . Listened to her album on my way home from work. Love her.

TALK ABOUT F*CKING WEIRD DREAMS

2010-01-28T05:45:00.000-08:00

SHIT!

im at work right now, i had the weirdest dream ever, ill tll you more when i get home

x

2010-01-26T12:08:00.000-08:00

Someone asked to know who wrote the song on my previous entry; Her name is Jessie. She is 21 years old and is a singer/songwriter from Essex in UK.

A lovely voice, here is the song shes singing live, she has some mad pipes.

Heres another song she wrote, "big white room"

Really recommend to listen to these.

I checked her up on myspace aswell (click here)

She has now got a record deal with Universal Republic in the uk.

Shes gonna be HUGE.

Check her out.

Technology

2010-01-25T13:24:00.000-08:00

ive left you

20 missed calls

6 messages your voicemails full

ill call you back, call you back, later...

something in my brain pulls on my heart

dailing the number the ringing starts

you say "i know baby, ill call you back later"

a text feels like ive kissed you

a phonecall is like youre here

waiting for you to come on the webpage baby

but thats not love when you're in love no, its nowhere near

cuz i feel like im in love with technology

looking at the computer screen

and baby what do you mean to me oh?

was this ever real?

cuz i, feel like im in love with technology

click and i see you face

click click, and i look away

can i really love you?

i dont know...

when i first saw you

i added you as my friend

dont be a stranger

tell me was that pretend?

see how can i feel the way i feel

but i keep telling myself, skype isnt real

i feel like im in love with technology

baby what do you mean to me?

was this ever real?

tell me

was this ever real?

Just a lil Poem I wrote 2 years ago...

2010-01-24T10:26:00.000-08:00

January 8th 2010

No more "I Love You"'s.

Time just makes me more confused

Broken and used, bruised and abused

I've had it with this shit now, I've got no more to loose

I still "Walk around at night feeling weak"

The pain still, makes it hard to speak

Yea I know I have lost my mind, I'm drifting through

time

This place, your face, it leaves traces - I can't leave my mind no other space it's like its possesed

And I've had it with you,

Now I'm gonna pull it through

Tell me the truth, tell me what was I supposed to do

You left me waiting up all night like a crazy fool and feeling lonely and blue

Why? I don't have a clue

I was and I am stuck into you - just like glue - but where were you leading me to, not even you knew

Times of affection were far too few so baby I'm sorry to tell you but we are through!

Now don't get me wrong you know that I love you

But I just can't deal with it no longer

I gotta hold on to that little pride thats left and rebuild myself stronger

Honey I've been here before

A boy trapped inside a mans body, I can't take it no more

All the screaming and shouting just made my throat mor

e sour

Times spent crying on the bedroom floor now I'm up leaving the door

So don't tell me I didn't try to complete the mission

Baby, it was YOU that put us into this position

The selfleaded execution

So this is my last goodbye

And no it aint no lie

That you weren't man enough to be my guy

baileys

2010-01-23T13:54:00.000-08:00

two nights ago, i had a dream i was getting married.

i had my wedding dress on me, it was white and long, to my feet.

i dont remember much of who it was i was getting married to - but i was always in a hurry to make sure i get myself there. first, i needed to do the make-up, and for that i was searching all around a huge mall for a toilet, which i eventually found.

i had asked someone there what hour im getting married and this someone said it would around midnight, and i was very late because i was still in the toilet and the clock was already 12.00.

i ran out of the toilet and rushed myself to the party where the wedding was being held.

i remember running up these very wide stairs. veery wide - as if your approacing the king of china or something and need to walk up stairs a la grande. at the top there was a big fancy floor and everyone was there.

i didnt pay much attention to more details, i only know i went towards the man i was gonna marry, but as i was going towards him, i woke up.

anyways, enough of my weird dreams.

ive just been at home today, playing around with my new midi (!) on garageband ;)

im gonna DL Logic Studio and hopefully elevate myself to a more advanced programme.

i also bout a new desk so i could have place for the midi.

damn the baileys gotten me a lil tipsy haha

im listening to Kumomi by Nujabes. Check out that wicked producer from japan (i think). He makes great hiphop tracks out of samples from like jazz songs. One song is even from a japanese animation called Mystline. So yeah, check that out...

OK, my parents are home now, they rented a movie from BLOCKBUSTERS YEAH! lol, so imma go and watch it.

take care in the meanwhile (K)

2010-01-18T15:27:00.000-08:00

i just had someone commenting me about my last entry on that part where i said that - dreams remain dreams.

this person told me that it depends on how strong your will is, which is true, though what i meant in particular did not apply to that.

but it does depend on the situation

sometimes its out of your hands

sometimes that is the end of the road

and you have to accept that fact and move on

i had another one telling me that he wasn't sure weather reality is a dream, or that the dream is reality.

what if that was true?

maybe this life is a dream, maybe the real life comes after this....

i dont believe in god.

if there was a god, he must be one selfish type of thing.

why create us, when we are born to suffer? i suppose he wanted us to, because he felt like he got some kind of pleasure from his side by doing so.

anyways, enough about god.

yesterday i was reading up a few of my songs from the early part of my writing, and then i found a folder with a few diary entries from last august.

feels weird to have read them.

ok gotta sleep now, work tomorrow.

goodnight.

20 years

2010-01-13T04:28:00.000-08:00

2010-01-12T14:08:00.000-08:00

you are perfect in every way but i dont know if i can fall for you

you say "i love you endlessly"

but i dont know if i can love you too

maybe its just this moment in my life

maybe just this moment its right....

hygh on sky hygh dreams

2010-01-11T04:54:00.000-08:00

Vivid feeling trespassing out from old, but still new dreams...
It's old, because they belong to a dream, new because they never were there up until now.
One night becomes a few, though this is not the first.
Often the same dream each time - in different ways, but always the same.
Nostalgia?
What are they there for, dreams? Do we dream to regain hope?
But dreams are, and remain dreams. Its not reality - least of all in this case.

Ayda

BORED IN MY ROOM

DO I LOOK AS DIRTY AS I LOOK?

ON YOUR KNEES

NEW PICS!

MY DOGS + SIS

NT NT NT

And then there was rain...

LET IT SNOW *NOT*

ANNOUNCEMENT

SUMMARIZED BIOGRAPHY

AM I LYING TO MYSELF?

Robyn 'Indestructible' (Official Video)

MY LIFE

DONT FORGET ABOUT YOUR HEART

Ayda - Rendered for Your Love (ORIGINAL)

BEFORE AND AFTER

NEW HAIR COLOR!

THANK YOU!

Ayda - Everybody Here (Jeff Buckley Cover)

Miguel Feat. J. Cole - All I Want Is You (OFFICIAL VIDEO) HD

NEW COVER

SONG OF THE DAY

HARDSHIP

SONG OF THE DAY

JESSIE J 'NOBODYS PERFECT' ACOUSTIC (BEN MARTINEZ ON GUITAR)

VIDEOBLOG 4 + HIT THE ROAD JACK COVER

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?

STUDIO SESSION

THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!

SECOND SONG OF THE DAY

SONG OF THE DAY

AND YOU CALL YOURSELF AN ARTIST WHY..?

MY INSPIRATION

SONG OF THE DAY

FINALLY

I'VE MOVED ON NOW

GOTHENBURG CITY BABY

I STILL REMEMBER

MY LOVE IS UNCALLED FOR

NEWROOM

FIRST TIME IN A LONG TIME

ANOTHER ONE!

SO YOU THINK IM FUNNY NOW?

OF YOU

SONG OF THE NIGHT

THE DROP

DID I SAY TOO MUCH, DID I SAY ENOUGH?

YOU KNOW ME

BACK IN THE UK

New day, new post.

GREATER THINGS ARE AWAITING

IT IS WRITTEN

Slumdog Millionare

inspired melody Download it HERE

ILL TAKE WHAT I CAN GET

1CLICK2FAME

KING OF THE GAME

RAPED VICTIMS TELL THEIR STORY...

ERYKAH BADY LIL WAYNE

THE REASON

He'll never know that he's the reason for this rhyme

He'll be regretting the love he left

At the times when he needed someone

One day realizing he never knew what he had, but then its already

gone

Hoping to take the chances now before they pass him by again.

OUCH

DID I EVER SAY, HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO YOU?

YOUR HEAD IS WANTED!!!

WHATS LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

PROZAC

if i was a dog

TALK ABOUT F*CKING WEIRD DREAMS

Technology

Just a lil Poem I wrote 2 years ago...

baileys

20 years

hygh on sky hygh dreams

LET IT SNOW NOT

**He'll never know that he's the reason for this rhyme**